Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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