Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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