We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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