You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
