Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
