i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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