i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize