PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
