We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
