How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
