Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
