Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
