I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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