Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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