Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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