Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Randomize
