the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
