I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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