If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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