my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
