Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
