Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
