Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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