and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
