he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
it glows. i had to have it.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
