You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
