I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
My ATM looks so different sober.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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