Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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