The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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