mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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