That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
