I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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