I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
