Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
being pregnant is like rehab
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
