There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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