I looked at my own cervix.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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