I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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