5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
