I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize