I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
