I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
