Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
