apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
