summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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