New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
