Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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