Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
