There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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