i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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