i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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