My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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