Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
