apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Randomize
