I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
