hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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