You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
