quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
