As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
