Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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