I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
