Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
