you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
